Handling difficult conversations at work requires tact, empathy, and clarity from experts like Harvard Business Review’s guide on difficult conversations.
Here are 40 useful phrases to navigate tough discussions professionally:
1. Opening the Conversation
- “I’d like to discuss something important with you—when would be a good time?” – Competencies in Action: Workplace Communication
- “I’ve noticed something I’d like to talk about to better understand your perspective.”
- “I value our working relationship, so I wanted to address this openly.”
- “Can we have a quick chat about it? I’d appreciate your input.”
Here is an article you can check out. 5 Steps To Have Difficult Conversations With Literally Anyone At Work
2. Staying Calm & Neutral
- “Let me make sure I understand correctly…”
- “I hear what you’re saying. From my perspective…”
- “I want to approach this conversation with an open mind.”
- “Let’s focus on finding a solution together.” – Coping with stress at work
3. Expressing Concerns Without Blame
- “I’ve noticed [behavior/issue], and I wanted to check in about it.”
- “I feel [emotion] when [situation], and I’d like to resolve it.” –Utilizing Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace
- “Could you help me understand why [situation] happened?” – The Art of Constructive Criticism
- “I’m concerned about [issue] and would like to discuss how we can improve it.” –
4. Active Listening & Clarifying
- “So what I’m hearing is… Is that correct?” – Active Listening
- “Can you elaborate on that point?”
- “I want to make sure I fully understand—can you clarify?”
- “Let me repeat that back to ensure I got it right.”
5. Handling Defensiveness
- “I’m not here to criticize; I’m here to find a solution.” – Negotiation Skills
- “I understand this might be uncomfortable, but I appreciate your honesty.”
- “Let’s focus on the issue, not the person.”
- “I may not have all the facts—can you help me understand?”
6. Giving Constructive Feedback
- “One thing that could help improve this situation is…”– How to Deliver Constructive Feedback Effectively
- “I’ve observed [behavior], and I think adjusting it could lead to better results.”
- “What are your thoughts on trying a different approach?”
- “I appreciate your strengths in [area], and I think refining [specific skill] could help even more.”
7. Managing Conflict
- “I sense some tension—how can we address this productively?” –Conflict management skills online course
- “Let’s take a step back and look at the bigger picture.”
- “We may disagree, but I respect your viewpoint.”
- “How can we move forward in a way that works for both of us?”
8. Setting Boundaries
- “I want to be supportive, but I also need to ensure [expectation] is met.” – How to Set Healthy Boundaries and Prevent Burnout
- “Going forward, I’d appreciate it if we could [specific request].”
- “I’m happy to help, but I’ll need [X] from you to make it work.”
- “Let’s agree on how to handle similar situations in the future.”
9. Closing the Conversation Positively
- “Thanks for discussing this with me—I feel better about moving forward.” – What Is Employee Engagement, and How Do You Improve It?
- “I appreciate your willingness to work through this.” – 3 Steps To End Your Meetings The Right Way
- “Let’s check back in next week to see how things are going.”
- “I’m glad we had this talk—it helps us stay aligned.”
10. When Emotions Run High
- “Let’s take a short break and revisit this when we’re both calmer.”
- “I can see this is frustrating—how can we de-escalate?”
- “I want to resolve this, but I think we need to pause for now.”
- “Is there anything I can do to make this conversation easier for you?”